Tonight I had a realization, or perhaps a remembrance, as I find that epiphany’s often feel like I just remembered something, but with an edge of excitement. This is a truth I come to time and time again as an artist, wondering how I ever forgot it in the first place. As I have come out of this record and into a silent season, I have reflected through the train wreck of feeling dead stopped ( this is what most people call normal life, and feels anything but normal). Once again, in the silent moment, I feel the questions surface, why do I play music and who do I play it for? Will I keep playing even if it means I don’t make a ton of money, or ever play to huge crowds? Or even more alarming, will I keep putting music out even if it means I am paying for it myself and possibly not breaking even?…

I have to be honest and say that there have been times I have felt the pressure of everyone around me, what I perceived other’s to be doing or expecting me to do, even the anxiety of other people’s  insecurities … wondering things like, ” should I up my stage presence with a prop, should I learn more jokes cause everyone likes a comedian… what about writing more poppy stuff” ect.  And then I realize that goes against everything I write music for anyway.

I write and put out music because it was what i was created to do, it is who I am.  Simple enough. I write music to put something honest out there, something as good as I can get with as much integrity as I can offer.  And truly, as every effort to push humanity forward, both big and small, we share the idea that there are those out there who will grab hold, even if just a fraction.  That there are those few who will get that we want you to think for yourself, to not be frightened by deep lyrical content or songwriting that takes risks.  I can not write “safe” music just so that my audience is bigger, and honestly, I don’t know that I want that kind of audience anyway. I even questioned how transparent I could be in a blog, could I be the struggling artist or do I have to appear like everything is amazing and moving forward at warp speed? That just is not real life for most people, and I even doubt that at the so called “top” everything is peachy all the time.

Tonight I went to an Ani Difranco concert, yes she is one of my teenage musical idols, though I would not have admitted it in years past. However, I have these memories of going to her shows with rose colored glasses on and seeing only the glory of what I thought a career was like. Tonight I went, as a woman without the honey dripping shades on and saw it for what it was. She is great, do not get me wrong, incredible performer and full of energy. But all those things I had been thinking at times I had to be, I was able to take one look at her and know I could just remain who I am. That it is enough. This woman on stage was simply singing her songs, clearly tired as anyone who is 40 and has a young kid would be (not to mention on the road). She didn’t have a fancy wardrobe or young hip band members who were clearly hired for their face. She didn’t even have a crazy amount of people on stage with her, only 4 including herself. The most she did in the way of performing besides be her charming self, was to occasionally hop back away from the mic during non vocal segments, bounce as she does, and have a roady hand her a guitar every song or so. And truly, she was a joy to watch. Her songs are just good, and that is really enough. She could be playing them in a wheelchair and her audience could care less, they are there for the song. For the honesty. For the unity, and the feeling that she will not abandon them to some cheaper way of doing this thing we call art.

I left with a sigh of relief, and not a burning anxiety to be something more. It has been one event in a series of events over the last couple of weeks that have been reaching out to me.  A reminder that even in this sinking ship that is the music industry, where the majority really are willing to do whatever it takes to get their golden minute, there is still an audience who cares about integrity.

Rhe

First blog ever for the website, I always get anxiety that it better be good or else…
which has kept me from writing, but here I am, just goin for it! Jumping in with both feet.
So, a word or two about the release…

For those of you that were not able to make it, I must say, you missed out. I can quite certainly say it was the best show of my life so far. When one prepares for such a production, the inevitable thought crosses your mind that… what if! what if I mess up my lyrics, what if in a passionate moment I chip a tooth on the microphone, what if no one shows up? Luckily, none of the above happened. In fact, it seriously exceeded even my expectations. The band was flawless with all those tasty elements I love: pedal steel, strings, beautiful lead guitar, rockin drums; I mean honestly who is lucky enough to have a 9 piece band at once?! Our sound guy killed it, along with the light techs, ect… I will admit to you that I did a jig whence getting off stage that night and squealed like a little girl who had just gone over a dip on a rollercoaster ride. I was overwhelmed with friends and family, because as we all know, hometown shows are the best when everyone decides to band together!

After the show of my life, I was whisked away on a long awaited surf trip to puerto rico where the temperature was a constant 80 degrees and the water was not far behind. My friend Schuyler and I surfed our hearts out and made our way to the beach when we were too tired to paddle anymore. It was like a dream from the blue lagoon, drinking from a cold coconuts and resting on white sand beaches. Only we had the company of our wonderful hosts Shayne and Shannon Macyntire from the show On Surfari. If you haven’t had a chance to check out that show and you like action sports, you should go to www.onsurfari.com and watch a clip or two.

Finally, after a week of getting my tan to a gold medium it was time to get to the snowy slopes of telluride in colorado. I must admit, I am not a fearless snowboarder, but I gave it my all this time. I pointed down hill and after a few runs managed to not only avoid the domino effect off the ski lifts, but I ACTUALLY stopped speed checking so much. I told Jesse that we can’t do another year of only one snowboarding trip, so we are planning to get back up the mountain somewhere a little closer to home.

Overall, it has been a great last month, and now it is back to life as normal…
Keep checking back for the next entry, who knows maybe I will be blogging about my opinion about something (isn’t that what you are suppose to do when you blog?)

Until next time,
Rheanna

My debut album, Pull the Moon, is out today! You can stream the album in its entirety below and also purchase the digital download and CD exclusively from RheannaDowney.com.

To celebrate the release of the album, I’ll be playing a show at the Belly Up in Solana Beach. Get all the show info here. Hope to see you there tonight!